How are you doing?

A timely and inspiring reminder

I’m staggering around Nordstrom, becoming increasingly overwhelmed by the vast array of choices when I’m just trying to find one specific thing. This is why I don’t shop for clothes very often.

A salesperson walks by me, and asks, as they often do: How are you doing?

I say, as I often do and we all do out of politeness, I’m good, and how are you?

She says, I am SO good! She says this with feeling!

I am stopped in my tracks.

I say something like, you are? Really? (My astonishment is obvious!)

She laughs and says, I bet you didn’t expect me to say that, did you?

I laugh and say, no, no I did not! But I am so glad that you are SO good!

And we laugh together.

I walk away inspired.

Nordstrom inspiration beckons from behind a Nordstrom Cafe coffee. Image: Pritam Potts

You see, just the day before I was asked “How are you” by someone in that same casual way.

My reply, however, was, “Oh . . . I’ll survive.” Mopey, bemoaning, blah.

Immediately I knew that was not my preferred response. It’s been on my mind ever since. Not in a beating-myself-up-because-I-shouldn’t-have-said-that way, but instead in a I’m-mulling-it-over-because-that’s-not-how-I-ever-want-to-show-up-again way.

I thought I’d already learned the appropriate reply when I became an actual functioning adult, so she must have caught me at a weak moment. It happens, but still. I didn’t like it. Why bring that kind of downer energy into her day? Or mine?

We rarely tell the truth when asked “how are you” by a stranger or casual acquaintance? We aren’t expected to. We usually say something like, “I’m fine.” They don’t really want to know, and we don’t tend to divulge too much to someone we hardly know. It’s simply a universally socially acceptable way of opening an interaction before getting down to business.

But how we present ourselves in that polite exchange, or any exchange with anyone, really, is completely up to us.

Back to Nordstrom. Now, I don’t know if this woman was telling me her truth or not. I have no reason to think she wasn’t SO good. Her energy sure was good! No matter, because in her response she reminded me of MY truth.

It is NOT I will survive (although I’ve felt that plenty of times.)

It is NOT I’m fine (even though I really am fine.)

It is NOT I’m good, in a ho hum way (better if I could put some GOOD energy into saying I’m good.)

How am I? My REAL truth is that I am doing great. Overall, for all intents and purposes in this life, everything, GREAT.

Certainly, great enough to show up with that energy when someone asks! And, maybe I’ll even say in a most authentic way, “I’m doing great!”

In this brief Nordstrom exchange, which she’s probably already forgotten about, this employee made such a difference for me not just in my day, but in my awareness and in my intentions. I left the store without the thing I wanted but with something far more important.

SO much inspiration from a very timely reminder.

Now I ask you, how are you doing?

Tell your truth. Your REAL truth.